


Baldstuck!DirkJake

by Muffinpughugs



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Help, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, baldstuck, dirkjake - Freeform, jakedirk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffinpughugs/pseuds/Muffinpughugs
Summary: Dirk and Jake have been dating online for almost a year, and have no idea what each other look like. Anxiety ensues.
Relationships: Dirk Strider/Jake English, Jake English/Dirk Strider
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	Baldstuck!DirkJake

Dirk’s POV:

Today was the day. I would finally meet Jake in person. I had been looking forward to this for so long, I could hardly believe that the day had come so quickly. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. Fuck, I’m so excited… but I’m terrified. I take a quick look at the clock: 9:45 AM. Our date was in the city at 11, so I had a bit of time to myself before I had to leave. I stood up slowly, and walked into the bathroom.

Looking into the mirror, trying to focus, I see my orange eyes just a blur as I reach for my toothbrush and toothpaste. I brush my teeth, being extra careful this time as today I am seeing Jake and don’t want to embarrass myself at all, and spit out the water, rinsing my mouth. I look up into the mirror and sigh, thoughts plaguing my head. What if he doesn’t like me? I hardly know what he looks like, I’ve only gotten vague descriptions. What if he leaves me because he doesn’t like what he sees? What if he leaves me because I’m bald! A million questions ran through my head. I composed myself, rubbed my eyes, and returned to the bedroom to get dressed.

Today’s a jeans and t shirt kind of day, right? We’re only going to a cafe! Maybe I should play it safe and wear a button up… but I don’t want to be too formal. We’re going into the city, not to a 5 star restaurant. Just a simple look will do. I grab my white t shirt with the orange decal hat and a pair of black, ripped jeans. I put in some stub earrings and my snakebites, and grab some random socks from out of the drawer. Pink and yellow striped fluttershy socks and some with pumpkins on them. Eh, good enough. They’re about the same length anyways. I bend down and roll up my jeans, and grab my combat boots. 

I walk into the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee, filling up the tank with some more water and putting in the little capsule. My favorite mug for a great day, or what I hope will be a great day.  
As soon as the coffee finishes brewing, I head to my office and sit down at the computer, sipping at my coffee. Ouch, that’s really hot. Logging on to pesterchum, I see that Jake is online. Immediately, almost out of reflex, I pester him.

\-- timaeusTestified [TT] has begun pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 10:07 -- 

timaeusTestified: Sup. 

golgothasTerror: Why, hello there dirk! Im glad to see youre up! 

golgothasTerror: Are you excited for our date later? 

timaeusTestified: I sure am.

timaeusTestified: Can’t say I’m not nervous though, either.

golgothasTerror: Theres not need to be frightened, old chum! Im certain well get along just as dandy as we do online!

timaeusTestified: Thanks, Jake. I wasn’t talking about how we’ll get along though.

golgothasTerror: Then what the bloody knickers are you on about then?

timaeusTestified: Well, I don’t know if you’ll like how I look.

golgothasTerror: Dont be so dull, strider. I would never dislike you for any reason having to do with your personal appearance. I would go so far as to say i would never hate you at all!

golgothasTerror: I love you dirk, nothing about the way you look could change that for me.

timaeusTestified: I know that, Jake. I love you too.

timaeusTestified: I just don’t know what you’re expecting of me and if you’re setting your standards for me too high. 

golgothasTerror: Im sure youll be looking dashing either way! Even if you show up and you look fresh out of a sandstorm in the middle of the sahara desert, im sure youll have your way of looking fresh.

golgothasTerror: Youve nothing to worry about, dirk. Dont worry. If anything, i should be the one worrying about my appearance.

timaeusTestified: Thank you, Jake.

timaeusTestified: And don’t you dare start.

timaeusTestified: I’m almost 100% certain you look just as hot as you sound.

golgothasTerror: Golly, i sure needed to hear that. Especially from you.

golgothasTerror: Well, id best be departing sometime soon. Id hate to be late to our first date!

golgothasTerror: Ill be sure to catch you later, love!

timaeusTestified: See you soon, Jake.

golgothasTerror: <3

timaeusTestified: <3

\-- timaeusTestified [TT] has ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 10:24 -- 

Oh god.

Jake’s POV:

I logged off of pesterchum and swiveled around quickly in my chair. I hopped up and across the room and grabbed my phone, checking the time. It was 10:25 AM, christo! I’d better be leaving, our date was in 30 minutes and I lived 20 minutes outside of the city! I was so excited to finally meet Dirk, my boyfriend of about a year now, that I completely lost track of time until he messaged me! Thankfully, I had already gotten dressed in my signature skull decal t shirt and my cargo shorts (I found that my legs got hot very easily, and they made it easier to traverse through the wilderness). Now all I needed to do was to grab my jacket, my keys, my wallet, and hop to it!

I ran down the wooden stairs of my house on the edge of the woods, snagged my keys and wallet off the table, and ran to the door. I pocketed them, as well as my phone, and grabbed my jacket off the coat hanger. I took one last look into the mirror by the door and sighed. I hope Dirk won’t think any less of me because of my hairless head. I know he’s a hard man to please. And even though he reassured me, I can’t help but get the feeling that something is off, and that he won’t like the way I look. 

Goodness me, I don’t think I’ve been this terrified in years.

I shake it off and head to my car, start the engine, back out of the driveway, and head into the city, trying my best to ignore my thoughts and to not let them go astray.

~(Timeskip brought to you by authors including timeskip sponsorships)~

3rd POV:

Dirk stood outside of the cafe, anxiously tapping his foot. He flattened out his shirt in a last ditch effort to look more presentable to his date, who had not yet arrived. That was fine, Dirk showed up fairly early. What else was he doing that day? As soon as he and Jake made the plans, he freaked out and cleared his schedule for the whole week (much to his boss’ dismay, but they could learn to deal with it). Dirk’s eyes perked up from behind his glasses as he saw a car pull up to the cafe. 

Out of the car stepped a finely dressed gentleman, wearing a mossy green jacket and cargo shorts that didn’t leave anything to the imagination. This was Jake. Dirk looked up into the man’s eyes, a deep forest green that one could stare into forever. This was definitely Jake, Dirk thought to himself, trying to calm himself down and failing. Jake looked at Dirk, and his eyes almost lit up at what he saw. Dirk and Jake stood a few feet apart, staring at each other as if they had never seen another human before. 

Jake had no hair, either.

The two boys nearly bounded towards each other before enclosing one another in a tight, back thumping embrace. After a moment of bliss, the two reluctantly pulled away from each other.

“So…” Jake began.  
“You’re bald too?”

“Haha, yeah… sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Dirk stated under his breath. Jake shook his head and reached out for Dirk’s hand.

“Don’t be silly, love! I can’t say I’m not guilty either!” Jake exclaimed almost proudly, with a hint of fear underneath his tone of voice. 

“God, I can’t believe how thankful I am to have you.” Dirk took his hand.  
“Now, shall we get coffee?”

“I couldn’t ask for anything else in the world.”

~ fin ~


End file.
